THE TALE CONTINUES!

We rode for several hours, randomly stopping for swimming or, once, for Dairy Queen. Eventually we made it to Colby Kansas ("Don't forget Colby Kansas!"), where after flying a sign for a while and hanging out, Joe, John, and Lotus showed up. In THE VANS (John's van being Christened the next day as The Time Machine!!!). We hung out there and they all got high in Joe's van and had a stupid discussion about nothing while I sat there debunking what they were talking about in my head. Then I slept in Joe's passenger seat. I didn't know it at the time, but at some point the girls had communicated to the guys that, yes indeed, I was a cop: just look at his boots! And of course it was completely impossible that I bought them at the Army Navy Surplus store. We also paraded around the Wal-Mart parking lot that we were in, and bought plenty of food in the store. Also some drunk kids told us not to forget Colby Kansas, which consists of a Wal-Mart and probably a house, though I didn't see one.

The next day we spent riding through Kansas toward the Colorado border. At one point, I remember, we pulled into a truck stop to bum for gas. I was set on bumming a sandwich from Subway but I ended up giving up and going outside to see what the other folks were doing. Well they were talking to a cop. I strolled up toward April and proclaimed that I couldn't get a free sandwich, and April shusshed me angrily. She didn't want me talking about trying to get things for free. Because we needed gas, and had no money. And so obviously if you have no money, it looks bad if you also have no money for a sandwich. I didn't really get along with April from the start, primarily because she's stupid, and also because she's very proud of that. The night before was my first exposure to this, and it made me really uncomfortable and upset. I had been talking to April or aloud to myself or something, and was mimicking the stereotype of the crazy evil pirate ("I'll cut your face off! I'll sell my dad! I'm a pirate!"), inspired by a book I had read about pirates, where one individual had threatened another that he was robbing that he would in fact sell his father as proof of his ruthless pirate-ness. This really offended April becuase verbal depictions of physical violence are not funny but mean and upsetting, because there's no humor whatsoever to be had in absurdity, because we all know that all humor derives from puns and being high. Me, Emma, April, and Lotus were all walking down the street together, and I decided to try and explain that this is just how I'm used to talking. I tell people, jokingly, to shut up. We make absurd references to pirates. That's just how I was raised, that's how me and my friends talk. And Emma says, "That's real sad." And April, stupidly, announces, "They're not real friends then." I gave up trying to explain, because it was obvious that none of them could understand how one could be best friends and still tell each other things like "die" etc. Blegh.

I called Cameron and, chaotically, managed to get directions to his house. I rode in Emma's car, with Lotus, and Lotus was throwing a little fit when we couldn't find the place immediately. Eventually we made it there and met up with Cameron and his very pretty friend and decided to get food and booze. I went with April and Hillary to the store to get food. April used her food stamps card to buy the food. She couldn't figure out how to use the self-checkout machine. It's very simple, and I understand how that can be frustrating, but she acted like a real idiot. She thought the machines were stupid and useless expressly because she didn't know how to use them. April is dumb and frustrated me to an extraordinary degree.

I'll have to do more later. Deuces.